Expressions of Self
There are three areas of expression, that if we understand correctly, can aid us in the accurate perception of another. This is often referred to as reading another. The three areas are expressed in the following:
1. One-to-one Communication
2. Indirect Expression
3. Situational Expression
One-to-one Communication is the verbal and non-verbal information we receive in direct communication with another. Indirect Expression is the information a person sends outwardly to the world by the decisions made in their moment-to-moment living experience. Situational Expression is the behavioral response to a specific stimulus or set of conditions encountered that is out of alignment with previous understandings of another and / or the current situation involved with the person.
“Real” communication comes from the soul. No matter how hard you try for your body to convey one thing, the soul is always speaking its true state, desires or wishes. This is best observed between body language in One-to-one Communication. Closed off body language, misleading body language that does not match the tone and / or message of what a person is attempting to convey, a sense of irrational or unjustified negativity in otherwise good conversation, these are all signs of a hidden part of character or a soul that wants to say one thing but instead says another. The information conveyed is partial at best. This is why liars, if you pay attention, show their cards at some point. It is because they have parts of self at odds with one another. Most liars are identified by the differential in their expressions, not by the lying statement itself. By contrast, when a person is whole, the information they convey is clear. It is full, consistent, and sincere to the nature it finds itself about. There should be a consistency across the parts of character that make the person and the message they are trying to convey. From this understanding we can conclude the difference in what a person states verbally, or otherwise attempts to impress on another, and what they long to express. Above this level of discernment in one-to-one communication is the reading of information expressed indirectly in other areas of a person’s living experience.
Whether engaged in one-to-one communication or not, we are always communicating information outwardly about ourselves for others to read. We do this by our Indirect Expression, or how we express ourselves in the daily decisions we make across our living experience. This area of expression is noted to be that which comes from within, without a pronounced stimulus from the outside forcing a marked situational response. Rather, these choices reflect the more subconscious decisions made across the thousands of ordinary level decisions we find ourselves about as we pursue self.
It is the entirety of self that is expressed in the world and therefore cannot be avoided for observation. We can try to prevent this information from being sent from us, but even the decision to withhold our outflow of expression is, in itself, information. Our choice of attire, musical playlist, our choice in hobby, etc., these are all areas rich with information about a person’s internal state and what character they play in their lives. Take the example of choice in music; musical choice is one of the most intimate revealing’s of another. This is because the rhythm between lyric and sound represents an emotion and subsequent feeling that must have been received in the other. In order for a person to enjoy a certain selection of music, it must fit them or it would not be very enjoyable in the first place. Generally, the greater the enjoyment a person finds from their choice in music, the greater the resonation must be on some part of self. The insight is drawn between a person’s musical choice and what emotional state / feeling is primarily conveyed through that music. From this we can infer what attitudes they may have towards themselves and the broader world. By way of reason and relation, we can equally infer this level of placement in another by expressions without a notable emotional component.
For example, you may find yourself in agreement with much of what you’ve previously gathered from a person. Yet, you stop by their apartment and see an abundance of trash not being taken care of. The pile of trash is excessive given their physical means to attend to it properly. All else being equal, this behavior does not fit the conditions of the seemingly normal, healthy, person being physically able to attend to their trash properly. Therefore, we can deduce that this person has a disordered internal life. On some level of self, or between multiple levels of self, there is a disorder that is causing the manifestation of poor personal hygiene practice. We can accurately draw this inference because of the relation between: one, healthy standards of living and what is being expressed, and two, the difference between the rest of the seemingly healthy life of the individual and their grossly contrasting or incompatible behavior pattern in the form of neglecting the clean up after themselves. In this scenario, the discrepancy is our clue that something is amiss and that we should inspect further. The cause may be an issue of self-esteem, distraction by other emotionally demanding processes, or otherwise, but as all other decisions made in our lives there is a reasoning to the resulted behavior. This person is expressing, albeit indirectly, some part of their makeup as a person. We may have to combine information observed from multiple areas of a person’s life to determine more closely where the discrepancy is, what the issue is exactly (if there is any), and why it is so. Indirect expressions help us understand the reasoning of a person by observing behavior patterns and finding points of relation or discrepancy between them. Over time, deeper states of self are unveiled, as decisions are made to create greater levels of self-expression. Situational expressions, however, force us to contend with the parts of character that lie dormant under the veil of conscious understanding of self. Of which, life has brought about the exact conditions for their emergence. We can train our eye to spot this in another.
Situational Expression is best understood as a behavioral response that is observed as out of alignment, or new, based on a previous understanding of another and / or our understanding of the current situation with that person. This expression reveals qualities of self that are either hidden, denied of, or unrecognized. Differing from Indirect Expression, there is less influence afforded in situational expression because the conditions are brought on by outside forces. This creates an element of surprise and rigidity for response. This expression of self is greatly influenced by the specific stimulus or circumstance that life has brought about.
There are three rules that define this expression:
1. There must be proximity between cause and effect
2. The expression is reactive in nature
3. The expression is distinguishable from all previous expressions in line with the situation
There is a proximity between the stimulus encountered (cause) and the resulting expression (effect). For example, the man with the problem of removing excess trash in his home probably has a reasoning for this behavior that is complex and distant from the actual event that caused the behavior to develop. On the contrary, if a person was to make a sudden movement, speech pattern, or other incongruent action, when a certain situation came about, we would observe the following qualities: an expression that is reactive, proximate given the sequencing of events from situation encountered and response, and distinguishable from all prior behaviors of that momentary relation. This leads us to draw the conclusion that there are direct points of relation between the stimulus and the corresponding behavioral response. And based on this inference, we can observe the qualities of each condition surrounding the behavioral response and how they relate to one another, drawing conclusions as to the hidden, denied, or unrecognized quality of self that is emerging. It is important to note, just because there is a situational response does not mean the worst of whatever situation it is in correspondence to. Sometimes the soul has a particular area that needs to be developed further, as to become a more confident or firm expression. You become skilled in determining this as you read the other areas of expression in a person and watch for patterns of connected or similar nature.
While the intelligence gathering in situational expression is more passive by practice of observation, people skilled in this domain can become active in pursuing the identification of these parts of self in another. They do this by introducing a stimulus to the other that would not otherwise be there by natural forces. From this point they measure the corresponding response in behavior to the stimulus that they have introduced, for the unrevealed concern. This is a "fishing" of sorts. For example, you may have a concern about one aspect of a person, but you cannot ask them outright as you risk exposing your concerns and / or a further hiding of the truth by them. In this scenario, you would introduce stimuli of similar or adjacent nature into the conversation and / or dealings with the other as to observe their response. Based on the relation to the actual concern, and how they respond, we establish our points of relation and draw conclusions to the concealed area of interest. While this can be used for good, it is deceitful which is of wrongful nature.
The common thread between all three of these areas of expression is that the soul is always speaking its true state in life. Furthermore, it actually desires to speak its true state. This is best observed in One-to-one Communication. Properly understanding One-to-One Communication provides us information of a person’s current state and what that current state longs to express. Indirect Expression affords us the reasoning and motivation of a person through behavioral pattern sequencing. Situational Expression provides us with information as to the range of one’s soul and what aspect of that soul may be trying to express itself further.
When you become skilled in reading these areas you begin to see the whole of a person. Naturally, you will begin to communicate in a way that gets to the heart of conversations and dealings with another. This is because your perception will have been developed in a way that is well below the superficial presentations of self. Learning how to read these three areas of expression, and which pieces of information to ascribe more weight to in your assessment, is the skill of accurately perceiving another, otherwise called reading. The more advanced skill to follow is the development of “feeling” the energy of another and properly fitting that information into the more logic driven assessment, as described above. More to be discussed on this area soon.