Relationships

The prerequisite of a strong relationship, whether business related or of personal nature, is integrity of character. Honesty in this respect, however, is more than it’s pertaining to the focus of the relationship. To be fully honest with another is to be able to bring your whole self into exchange. It means to have developed the various parts of self to a degree of expression unafraid of discovery by the outside world. From undertaking this process, one arrives at the finality of such which is a degree of self-purification and an aligning of these parts of character to the primary motivations of self. In other words, the person is authentic. It is from this point that the whole of person begins to form; and thus, confidence can arise in the man (or woman) of agreement. Confidence is part of a universal language that others recognize for its inherent qualities of direction, strength, and good nature. It is the greatest conduit for trust to arise because it leaves no stone of self-unturned. And since we cannot achieve our aims in life solely independent of others, integrity of character is key to the accomplishment of our ends.

A person who hides parts of self, whether pertinent to the focus of the relation or not, will never be able to form the strongest of relations with another. The reason being that the amount of trust that develops will be in proportion to what is held back, hidden, or private. A person may be honest in respect to the reason for the relation but suffer privation in parts of character that lie hidden, undeveloped, or otherwise private from the outside world. This impedes the proximity and / or depth of a connection. Trust develops when there is an adequate understanding of another and if that understanding, by the other, is deemed to be of good nature. When the expression of self is limited, or worse, actively being hidden, it is a hindrance for another to gain sufficient understanding as to bestow trust. Trust placed in another is parting with a piece of our responsibility of self, which is to say our welfare and safety, for the belief in the other. The trusting person now assumes a new responsibility, whether understood fully or not, which is one of the intended or unintended consequences of the relation. For there to be the possibility of trust, the person attempting to exchange [with another] must have a degree of confidence sufficient for the receptivity of their offering.

Confidence is a consequence of development, necessary to our aims in life. Without sufficient belief in ourselves we could hardly decide on what actions to undertake for our own survival let alone contribute to the prospering of a communal unit. This is the inherent quality of strength that confidence represents. Others understand this and look to it for their own direction of survival and prosperity. If it is so necessary to the functioning of self, then it must be that confidence has the propensity to rise based on certain conditions of self. I believe our confidence is strongest when the development of our parts of self are in harmony with our motivations of heart. In other words, when our actions are aligned with our deepest ideas of self.

Whether conscious or unconscious, we understand there is a moral underpinning in the character of others. This is because we infer a sense of morality in our own development by means of motivation and consequently, decision making. Therefore, we assess whether the confidence of another is true in that it is authentic, of good nature, and earned respectively. Confidence is understood among others as a showing of sufficient internal development as to invite others to a cause without fear. It says, “I have no problem with attention on or about me because I am authentic, pure in my motivations, and skilled to the degree I present myself as.” Therefore, the attention is deserved.

When a person undergoes this level of development, they create for themselves principles of being unconditional to outside forces. These principles form the backbone of character from which all other areas of self can develop harmoniously to achieve one’s aim in life. Integrity of character creates a foundation whereby trust is easily exchanged with another. This is because the state of integrity affords the most confident expression which in turn creates the conditions most suitable to trust. Therefore, let us develop ourselves to a degree of expression unafraid of discovery from the outside world.